You just made me feel so damn special
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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