This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
nutella sex= disaster
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
