I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
