I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
