I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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