Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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