I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I need to align my fucking chakras
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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