I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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