so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
