Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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