I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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