there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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