Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize