It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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