Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
