you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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