oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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