Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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