Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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