i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
