Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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