worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
