So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
