Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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