belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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