Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
