I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
