Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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