What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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