return my video game
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
