I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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