And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
