I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
