im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
