If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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