Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
