I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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