Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
