OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
