i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
