i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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