It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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