He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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