I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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