Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

And mexicans. My burrito likes you.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

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(940): View more from Texas

nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that

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(650): View more from California

so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

(1-650): View more from California

did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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(904): View more from Florida

just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind

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(903): View more from Texas

We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Its one of those days... someone might die

(1-618): View more from Illinois

Would a picture of my dick help?

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