i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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