Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
