Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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