Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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