i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize