sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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