as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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