im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
