I just made out with a guy for $7.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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