listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize