just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize