i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
