Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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