My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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