I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
