i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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